Lessons

So much realizations too few actions. This is what summarizes my life right now.

I woke up one day and I saw other people around me moving on, growing up and having the best time of their lives. I couldn't help but look back at my life, what I've accomplished and what my goals are.

This is where my biggest mistake lies. Sad to say my idea of a successful life is based on what others have achieved and done leading to envy and self degradation. I guess I need a concrete list of the things I need to work on to have a chance of a good life.

1. Forgive myself for the mistakes I've done but never forget.
2. I need to decide what I really want.
3. STOP procrastinating.
4. DO something.

=)

Games of our life

Life is all about winning. It starts from childhood and follows us until our death. Back when we were young it was as simple as winning the affection of our parents, doing our chores so we will be rewarded with chocolates and having the most beautiful toy among our peers. It gets more complicated as we grow older though. The contest progresses to who gets to be the top of the class, who bags the trophy for quiz bee and who is the "coolest" at school. From these lifelong experience we should learn humility from our success and resilience if we are defeated to be prepared for what's ahead of us, bigger challenges and more heartbreaking losses.

As reality sinks in and the idealistic me slowly fades, I gradually learn that the concept of winning is simply complicated. It still is getting what you are yearning for but then our wants and ideals varies with every individual. You may think you are pathetic and that you lost but others may view your life as a great success. On the other hand, you may think you've got the world in your hands but still others might see you as a failure.

In retrospect of the things that I've been through, I could say that winning is a part of life but it should not be the machine that makes us work for we can never win it all. Let's just be grateful for our wins and embrace our losses for every challenge is all about the experience, the result is just a bonus.

Time and Travel

From Philippines to UAE to Singapore all in a span of 1 year. Nice huh?! Oh well it is and it isn't. If I had lots of money and travel just for the heck of it then it definitely is fun. But to travel with just enough money and look for work in these countries makes things a lot more complicated. Nevertheless, I'll try to collect the memories I had and is still making in this journey of mine.

Traveling 8 hours alone in a plane makes you look at things in every perspective you can think of and end up more confused than you were at the start. You ask yourself if you're doing the right thing and hope that everything will be all right, think back of the things that led you to decide to leave. And then you wish that everything will be worth it.

Then you will be fazed by realizations that it isn't as easy as you initially thought it would be so you trudge through the days moving along wherever you must be and whatever you must do to earn. You may hate, love or both hate and love the situations that you find yourself in and there will be no fighting it because you realize that it is a losing battle from the start and all you can do is escape.

So escape I did leaving everything that for a time were the only things that made sense. But life is a never ending cycle, when I think back I see that all I ever did was ran away when things get bad, when I feel alone, when I get bored and more importantly when I feel worthless. I have always expected so much from everything and everyone without having to show or do something at all. When I don't get what I want I try to get it somewhere else, not exactly caring about who or what's left behind. Now I wish to change all that.

Sagada

After several months of waiting and weeks of worrying, the Sagada trip finally came and so easily went by. But with lots of good events, activities and wonderful people coupled with nice photographs, this trip will definitely be remembered forever.

The trip began with a 12-hour land trip from Manila to Sagada. It was very tiring especially since the trip was at night but it didn't stop anyone from getting out and take pictures at the highest point of the road we journeyed. Towards dawn, we were able to see the sunrise from the car and wonderful scenery greeted us.



We arrived in Sagada around 10 in the morning and we were ushered to Gecko, where we spent the nights during the vacation. The first destination was Lumiang Cave, a burial place for the natives.



Coffins of different sizes can be seen at the mouth of the cave. The next cave we visited was far bigger, the Sumaguing Cave. Beautiful formations can be seen inside with underground water and moderately easy to slightly difficult terrain makes this cave truly a haven for spelunkers.



The cave tour lasted for almost four hours and every single person in our group was wet and exhausted but every minute inside the cave was definitely worth it.

We woke up early the next day in order to catch the sunrise over at Kiltepan Valley. Unfortunately it seemed that the sun was hiding from us but nevertheless the view from the valley was breathtaking.



Next in the itinerary was a 1-hour trek to Bomod-ok falls. It was a strenuous feat going through steep paths under the scorching heat of the sun but the scenic view more than made up for it.




Finally, after what seemed like forever we could already hear the refreshing splash of water against the rocks. And as we approached the waterfalls, you wouldn't see even a hint of regret from anyone because the place was simply beautiful.

win even in defeat

It's so amazing how our emotions can switch from high to low, from being ecstatic to being sad or from having a sudden surge of confidence to a heartbreaking sense of defeat. If we were machines, we would have deteriorated at a very early age. Luckily as humans, we have freewill and thus have the capability to dictate the outcome of any situation. We can still follow the fate of the machines and crumble under extreme wear and tear or we can rise up from every unlucky situation and come out stronger in every battle we go through whether it is a win or not. The choice is always ours so we have to make the best out of it.

the small lady

During the motor cab ride on the way to the office, there was one other passenger who was so small I think she's just about 4 feet tall. I could imagine a lot of things she could not do because of her height and the teasing and bullying she must have gone through because of this. But she definitely was able to survive it all cos she seemed just fine. What a fighter she must be. I think unconsciously she had inspired me to push through and find good in every situation because after all everyone goes through rough times every now and then.. :)

A road to discovery

For the longest time, I felt that my life has been dull, monotonous and it seems that I have failed in everything I did and failed everyone as well. Everyday I would see how my life is no different from yesterday and couple of days and weeks before. Instead of progressing, it's like physically, emotionally, psychologically and even spiritually I felt I was on the brink of a decline, a steep one.

One day I thought that maybe I was seeing my life the wrong way. I don't know if its the right word to say but I am so focused in seeing the big picture expecting a total transformation of my life and have totally forgot about the little things that really are the ones that define who we are.

So I'll be keeping a daily account of the little things that goes on in my life, maybe then I will be able to regain my self respect and discover a life that's one to be proud of.